July 11, 2012
Quiet & Alone
I sit in the water and I send ripples around me. It reminds me of a beautiful photo I saw of a woman and her newborn baby in a tub full of pink water. I lean back and slip slowly into the water until only my face is above the swaying warmth. I gently shake my head side to side and I feel like a mermaid, my hair is swirling around me. I run my fingers through it to smooth out any tangles and it feels thick and luscious, very well moisturized here under the water.
And then I hear my heart beating. Thoughts of laying my head on my husbands chest and listening to his wonderful heart beat fill my mind. I wonder aloud to myself if someday I will hear two heartbeats while laying under the water. I close my eyes and listen only to the drumming of my heart, speeding up slightly with each inhale. I notice the way my chest rises to the top of the water while inhaling, and sinks softly down with the exhale. My hands float over to my tummy, where I hope to house a child soon, and quietly pray for my little family of two. For my husband to be the amazing father I know he will be and that I will have the strength and trust I need to make it through whatever will come our way.
Sometimes you just need a morning spent in warm sudsy water.