January 04, 2013

Hope and Faith

Last month was my last chance of getting pregnant in time to still have a baby at the age of 26. Of course I know it doesn't really matter what age I am when I have my first child, it was just because that was how old my mom was when she had me. It felt like it would be a fun connection between us three. And then my period was 5 full days late! And I was just so so happy. On day three of lateness we were at church and I was just thanking Jesus for the ability to be a mom, and of fulfilling this dream of mine and I prayed for the health of my little tot and that it would always just feel so loved by us. I knew that God loved me and wanted to show me that I shouldn't doubt Him, that He has my back.
Then on Wednesday I started my period.
But I am still reminded of that joyous feeling I had on Sunday, that I should still have complete faith in my Father, that He loves me more than I can imagine and that soon enough M and I will get our child.
And right now I have so much hope for our future. And I am daily praying for strength and for these feelings of hope and faith last me a lifetime.

Meanwhile I am using CrossFit to keep me occupied enough to not make me think more about it than needed. And I'm thinking that if I'm not going to be growing a big baby belly starting this month that I'll just work more on getting a six pack. And in nine months when I still don't quite have a baby to snuggle with, I'll snuggle with my amazing husband.


  1. We will share a special connection, no matter when you are blessed with a child - just enjoy each day as it comes. God is always good!

  2. aww, I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting pregnant as soon as you would like to. It will happen in God's timing--it seems like you know that and have a good attitude about it :) Have you tried "pre-seed"?

    1. I haven't tried pre-seed but I've heard good things about it! I might have to see if I can get it somewhere near me. I keep going back and forth on using things that could aid us if I think God is going to give it to me...you know what I mean? I'm feeling very optimistic about it tho, so that's good :) thanks for your input Rachel!