marriage.

So, this seems a bit strange to be blogging about, mostly because, I don't really know the first thing about marriage yet.  I don't know what its going to be like, how we will react to it...I basically just know that I can't wait :)  But I think its actually starting to hit me that in 40 days and 6 hours I will be standing in front of 100 or more people, confessing my undying love to my Mark....and to be honest, it kind of scares the dickens out of me.  First of all, the fact that I have to walk in to a room, where everybody then stands up to stare at me.  Oh my goodness, anyone that  even barely knows me probably knows that I hate the spotlight like that.  People are going to be staring at me!!!!  (WARNING : for those of you attending the wedding, please don't laugh at my face when it instantly turns bright red!).  Secondly, I'm really going to be married.  I tried to explain this thought to Mark the other day, and he laughed at me (go figure!).  Its like, my whole 24 years of singleness led up to this one day, where I change from single to married...and then for the next 70 years, I will be married. Its weird to think about!  Please don't take this the wrong way, I LOVE Mark, I seriously can't get enough of my man.  Every night when its time for bed, and Mark leaves, I just want to keep hugging him so that he can't go...sometimes I even get whiney, I just want to snuggle with my man for hours and hours....I want to see his amazing smile when I wake up in the morning, I can't wait to have someone who will forever be on MY side, through anything!  I'm going to have someone to serve God next to, to lean on when I'm feeling week in my walk with God, someone that loves me unconditionally.  I can't wait to be married.  BUT, thinking about it is still weird :)


Also, I got the impression from a lot of people that reading on marriage truly will help when the rough days come, so Mark and I have been working on reading some books that people have suggested.  The first one was the 5 love languages, which we both got some great ideas from :)  Then I read a book called So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore.  She brought up some good points and I've been trying really hard the last few days to be secure.  Yesterday I had a little problem with it...but for the most part I think the book really is going to help.  The next few books we are reading (already purchased from the store) are Sheet Music and Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts.  We heard about those books from several younger married couples, so we're both excited to read them.  If you have any reading suggestions for us we will gladly get the book!  Feel free to let us know!


Lastly I'll give you a little update on wedding plans!  This week we found someone to make our cake (YAY and YUM!).  We will be going to put in our order today!  Also, I picked up my dress from the store with my good friend Aubri!  It was so much fun, we went and got lunch, drove to Salem and then came home and watched a few hours of Say Yes to the Dress.  Also, we really got our wedding budget sorted out and now we know exactly how much more money we need!  We were both happily surprised that it was less than we thought.  We also did some test painting, figured out the wedding day schedule of events, organized the dress rehearsal dinner, started recruiting people to help with set-up and take down of the wedding, figured out which island on Hawaii we will most likely be staying on, sent out a few last minute invitations and have started prepping for the bridal showers.  Well I started prepping.  Like I said before, me being the spotlight makes me nervous, so I'm practicing my breathing technique and my appreciation for all the hard work everyone else is putting into my wedding.  I can't believe how much work it really is for everyone!  I am seriously thankful, I can't wait to have them!  


I hope everyone has a great Monday and a fantastic week!